Helping Your Child Learn to Share!

Sharing -- Help Your Child Learn

        ~ Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution

Does your child have a hard time sharing her toys with others? Children get very attached to their possessions, and they don't understand how sharing will affect them or their toy. In order to get a better understanding of these feelings, think for a minute about one of your most prized or important possessions - perhaps your computer, camera, cell phone, or car. Now think of having a friend take it away to use for a day... That feeling of apprehension and uncertainty, (plus a child's inexperience) is at the root of reluctance to share. Sharing is a complicated social skill that takes guidance and practice to develop.

What to do?

Demonstrate how to share.
Share things with your child and point out that you are sharing. For example, "Would you like a turn on my calculator? I am happy to share it with you."

Encourage your child to share with you.
It's easier for a child to share with a parent, since you'll be careful and you'll give the toy back when you're done. It makes for good sharing practice. When you hand her toy back, explain what happened, "You shared nicely, thank you!" That way she has a good feeling about what it means to share.
 
Give your child choices.
Instead of demanding that your child share a specific toy, give her some options. For example, "Sarah would like to play with a stuffed animal. Which one would you like to let her play with?"

Create situations that require sharing.
Your child can get good practice with sharing when given toys or games that require two or more people to play, such as board games, sports equipment or yard toys. Also look for activities that have plenty of parts for everyone, such as modeling clay or art projects, or building with blocks.

Let your child know what to expect prior to a sharing situation.
Before a friend's visit let her know how long the friend will be there, and reassure her that all her things will still be hers after the friend leaves. Allow your child to put away a few favorite things that don't have to be shared.

Praise good sharing moments.
Watch for good things that happen - no matter how briefly - and praise your child for sharing nicely.

What not to do

Don't shame your child for not sharing.
If your child isn't willing to share he needs to learn more about the process. Teach, rather than punish.  

Don't embarrass your child with a public reprimand.
Even if you've given lessons, prepared your child, and set up a good situation for sharing, your child might still refuse to share. When this happens, take him to another room and discuss the issue privately, and then set a plan.

Don't force your child to share special toys, gifts or lovies.
Some things should be exempt from sharing rules, such as a favorite doll, a stuffed animal he sleeps with, a fragile toy, or a gift recently given to him.
 
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               Excerpted fromThe No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill) by Elizabeth Pantley

Toddlers, Preschoolers and Essential Social Skills!

Are you concerned about your toddler or preschoolers social skills?

Research suggests that a child’s social skills by age three could predict his or her future social and academic performance.*

Children with a head start on social skills and self-esteem are more likely to be able to focus on school work with out the distraction of peer conflicts and other social behavior problems.

Ask yourself these questions with regards to your child:

Do they have opportunities to build friendships, learn turn-taking and co-operation, effectively communicate with others, problem-solve, share, or recognize boundaries and social cues?

Do they have experiences in building self-esteem and independence, by successfully joining group play, learning self-control while gaining confidence in expressing their needs and wants to others?

The group childcare environment is the ideal learning space to build essential social skills that every child should be developing in their early years. Social skills are important in establishing the foundation of your child’s life experience!

Does your child know how to:

• Play effectively with others
• Build self-esteem in group situations
• Recognize peer boundaries, social cues and communication
• Successfully communicate their needs and wants to others in appropriate way
• Understand appropriate social behaviours – such as managing emotions and empathizing with others who are sad or angry, and learning how to react in these situations
• Discover leadership and following roles, determining group roles and co-operation
• Encounter sharing concepts – turn-taking and waiting, communicating and problem-solving
• Build peer friendships and determine which peers they will find connections with

Ensure that your child is receiving the upmost opportunities to build these important social skills and early learning! Ensure that your current childcare program is meeting these needs, ask:

• Do the programs and caregivers promote early social skills such as problem-solving, turn-taking and group play entry?
• How many children are in the group? Is this group large enough to create valuable group interactions such as building self-esteem in leadership roles, and discovering where they can contribute in group activities?
• Are the children the same peer age as my child? Does my child have daily interactions with children his/her own age to develop these social skills and important peer friendships and experience and manage peer conflict?
• Are there opportunities for my child to gain independence and discover self, as well as be involved in being a part of a group?
• Are they exposed to books and real situations everyday that teach them about peer social conflict situations and how to manage internal feelings, and problem-solve during these conflicts, resulting in a compromise or positive outcome?

• Our experienced educators provide these daily opportunities for your child to grow, learn and build upon all these essential social skills with their peers! We want your child to have these significant experiences! Our licensed childcare facilities provide developmentally age-appropriate programs, toys and equipment, educated caregivers, ensuring a safe and fun environment. Your child has the opportunity to play and create friendships with children their own age, be a part of co-operation activities and learn team-building skills, as well as learn self-esteem by leading groups or voicing their thoughts/ wants/ needs with in a group.

These are all fantastic skills to learn prior to the school years! Children will have team knowledge if their join sports. They will be more confident to stand in front of the class to present school projects because they have had experience voicing themselves in large groups and building the confidence to do so. They will be able to focus more on school work if they have good friendships and less peer conflicts. It’s really an endless list of positive outcomes when children learn early the social and emotional skills that will carry them throughout their lives!

Are you a stay at home parent?

Part-time care is a fantastic way to ensure your child gains important early learning and social skills. These opportunities are not ideally accessible in the home environment. Group care also offers experiences in following gentle routines, learning through play and building self-help skills, all while having fun with friends and our experienced staff!

*Michigan State University. "Childhood Social Skills Linked To Learning Abilities." ScienceDaily, 21 Jun. 2007. Web. 28 Sep. 2011.,

Is your child ready for Kindergarten?

If you have a Pre-K, you will probably be asking yourself many questions over the next year...

'Where will my child go to school?'
'Where's the best place to get school supplies?'
'How will I arrange transportation?'
'Who will my child be friends with?'

One very important question you should be asking:

'Is my child ready for kindergarten?'

Do they have the important skills that teachers want all their new students to have prior to entering their classroom?

• Does my child enjoy learning and discovering?
• Does my child have the opportunity for peer social interaction? Do they have opportunities to build friendships, learn turn-taking and co-operation, effectively communicate with others, problem-solve, share, or recognize boundaries and social cues?
• Do they have experiences in building self-esteem and independence, by successfully joining group play, learning self-control while gaining confidence in expressing their needs and wants to others?
• Are they having regular opportunities to sit in circle times? To listen and follow instructions for group games, to learn basic concepts such as days of the week, letters and numbers? Are they building confidence to stand up in front of a group and voice themselves?
• Has your child had enough experience being away from you all day, to cope with morning drop-off and sustaining independence throughout the day?
• Do they have regular experiences with fine-motor development?
• Can they effectively communicate with others?

Our qualified caregivers are educated and experienced in developing and implementing age-appropriate programs to ensure that your child has the best preparation when entering into kindergarten. We provide a fun and safe environment with ideal equipment and supplies to build these essential skills. We want to ensure that your child has the best Pre-K opportunities and experiences in our Daycare and Preschool Programs!